He Says You Say

[**helen**]

TheSite.org is helping to endorse a sexual health campaign produced by Durex, which is all about providing women with the words they need to tell their partners to wear a condom – something we think’s really important.

The campaign follows research Durex carried out amongst healthcare professionals which identified 16-24 year old heterosexual women as a key target in need of encouragement and empowerment to insist that their partners use protection during sex.

So expect to see the campaign (and TheSite.org’s logo) promoted in your favourite magazines, in New Look changing rooms, and in STI clinics across the summer.

If you have experiences related to this issue, why not tell us how you dealt with them here, or let us know what you think of the campaign.

Also, don’t forget to head over to www.hesaysyousay.co.uk to take a look, add your He Says You Say messages and enter a competition to win a club 18-30 holiday.

[Butterflykisses]

I find it a bit odd that it's only geared towards women. Don't Durex think that men can be pressured into unprotected sex too? Even the men's section assumes it's the guy who'll be pushing for no condoms....

[Scary Monster]

I'm with the above poster. With more young women on the pill, men sometimes feel that they are not expected to use a condom and don't know how to get across that they want to.

[Butterflykisses]

It's stuff like this that I feel almost exacerbates the problem of women's 'oppression'. Girls see campaigns like this and feel that they should behave in accordance with the underlying message: that women have a tough time. Campaigns should present the issue of safe sex as being something that both parties are responsible for, rather than something that men won't want and women will therefore have to fight for.

[Tweety]

Looks quite good

[I'm With Stupid]

You campaign makes baby Jesus cry.

I don't doubt that some men are sometimes pressurised in terms of contraception too; but I don't that detracts from the reality that a lot of girls (especially when young, and/or just becoming sexually active) feel a lot of pressure from both their sexual partner[s] and their peers to have sex any which-way the "man" feels like it - which often involves contraception-free sex because "it feels better" or "I'm allergic to condoms" etc.

I've encountered a few such cretins and when I was younger and less experienced I was definitely taken in by blatant untruths, and maybe even had something of the mentality that I was lucky to be "getting it" from some spotty, self-proclaimed studmuffin. I'm aware of a lot of young girls (mainly younger sisters of friends) who think they have to do any and everything to impress/please a little turd, and it's close to impossible talking any sense into them. I can't say I've ever known a bloke who has been pressurised into not wearing a condom, even if the female in question is on the pill - surely they're worried about more than simply the possibility of getting her in the family way (?). All that said (rambled) I think any campaign focusing on empowering young women to take control of their sex life can only be a really great thing - of course, there needs to be education and support for young men, too, as the two things go hand in hand.

It's not a problem for me now, anyway, as I'm pretty militant about protected sex [especially if it's a new relationship, or not a relationship at all] and if that's the way I want to play then that's the way it's going to be. It draws the odd "whattabitch" comment, but I don't even hear that shit anymore

[Butterflykisses]

Originally Posted by briggi

I think any campaign focusing on empowering young women to take control of their sex life can only be a really great thing - of course, there needs to be education and support for young men, too, as the two things go hand in hand.

I absolutely agree. I just think that demonising men as being the only ones to be irresponsible about protection is the wrong way to educate young girls about how to deal with sex. Young people a lot of the time behave how they think they're expected to - same with crime, they'll think 'well if that's what they expect me to do, I'll do it'. All I'm saying is that boys and girls should be targeted equally in campaigns like this. It shouldn't be about female empowerment, it should be about equal, mutual responsibility and respect.

Originally Posted by Butterflykisses

It shouldn't be about female empowerment, it should be about equal, mutual responsibility and respect.

Oh definitely.

But I do think there's merit in a campaign specifically directed at young females... I'm not entirely sure why but I do think it's more likely to hit its target if directed exclusively at women. Though I could be wrong. Either way, as long as the education and issues relating to men are also given attention then it's all positive

[Scary Monster]

Another thing.

The line 'I'm allergic to them' is coming up more and more, yet it is still very difficult to get your hands on non latex condoms. The main ones are Durex Avanti. So thats fine, you just get those ones.

Major catch.

I have never seen anywhere that will give you these for free, and when you buy them they are more expensive than the standard ones and you get fewer in the box.

[melanie]

will family planning not? or brook?

[Scary Monster]

Well I've never lived anywhere near a Brook, and our family planning don't, wait for this, their budget won't cover them.

[Big Gay]

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Ah well, I guess I'm not the target audience anyway

[otter]

Originally Posted by **Helen**

all about providing women with the words they need to tell their partners to wear a condom

put. condom. on.
~ was that really too hard?!

just like you wouldnt touch a bleeding gash on a road accident victim, without a pair of latex gloves

nor would or should you stick your manhood in a ladies gash (with the potential of being on as well) without putting some latex on

or you really could end up with an accident on your hands