a new song: have a listen?

[dep]

hello. started this one yesterday.. wanted to maybe get some feedback on its progress thus far.

the mp3:
http://www.pecknology.net/storage/lostbirdie.mp3

lyrics are shite.. started crying. oh well, wasn't up for another take..

lost birdie
by dep

i stand here beside you
lights have since gone out
and if i know you:
you start fumbling around.

after all, you're living down an open road
i am lost (beside you babe).
after all the trouble we caused each other
i'll stay here

i caused all sorts of trouble
you don't know what i fall for

after all i found you ought to go
before things get worse.
i love you, but
you must go.
before
you
get lost with me.
i know you'll be okay
alone.

i know you'll be okay
alone.

i know.

[Blnde_BombShell]

WOW!! Is that your voice??? How did you do all this? Did you do this in a studio?? I really like the piano during the whole thing. The only thing that I didn't like too much was how you stayed on the same note for alot of the song. I liked at the end how you a different pitches. I really liked how you sang "I love you but you must go."

started crying

Amazing songs are ones that have special meaning to you and when you've experienced them firsthand.

sounds good to me!

[dep]

Originally posted by Blnde_BombShell
WOW!! Is that your voice??? How did you do all this? Did you do this in a studio?? I really like the piano during the whole thing. The only thing that I didn't like too much was how you stayed on the same note for alot of the song. I liked at the end how you a different pitches. I really liked how you sang "I love you but you must go."

Amazing songs are ones that have special meaning to you and when you've experienced them firsthand.

sounds good to me!

thanks very much for listening. yeah, that's me. i just have some equipment set up in my (tiny) room.. a (rough) home studio set up, of sorts. half the equipment i *truly* need, but it's getting there.

thank you very much for the feedback... for listening.

btw, i like your sig.. Reno 911 is halarious.

[Jazza]

Tbh I couldn't hear your voice most of the time. The music drowned it out a lot until you got near the end. But still, very good song and 10/10 for professionalism and effort!

[chaos_insomniac]

not the type of music i usually listen to but top marks for effort. It sounds really nice and chilled to me, if not my type of music.

[dep]

Originally posted by Jazza Bing
Tbh I couldn't hear your voice most of the time. The music drowned it out a lot until you got near the end. But still, very good song and 10/10 for professionalism and effort!

thank you i'm such a noob at recording.. :/

[dep]

Originally posted by dep
thank you i'm such a noob at recording.. :/

not the type of music i usually listen to but top marks for effort. It sounds really nice and chilled to me, if not my type of music.

thank you for listening, though, and for your feedback

[Jazza]

Originally posted by dep
thank you i'm such a noob at recording.. :/

So does this mean you'll be re-recording it? I think it would be loads better with that but it's still very good.

P.S. Why don't you put it onto a site? Rolly has his on a site called soundclick or something.

[morrocan roll]

as usual when i try one of your links dep ...page not available!
it always is in the end but not right now.

[*ash*n*nick*]

this one sounded good as did the last one i listened to. but you stayed around the same note and you went from pianissimo to forte to much,the end of the song should be the loudest,you were going from them too quickly maybe slow it sown a little bit more,not the song

[dep]

Originally posted by Jazza Bing
So does this mean you'll be re-recording it? I think it would be loads better with that but it's still very good.

P.S. Why don't you put it onto a site? Rolly has his on a site called soundclick or something.

oh yes.. i'll be recording it several times over...

as usual when i try one of your links dep ...page not available!
it always is in the end but not right now.

whats up with that? seems to be working for everyone else... shrug.

this one sounded good as did the last one i listened to. but you stayed around the same note and you went from pianissimo to forte to much,the end of the song should be the loudest,you were going from them too quickly maybe slow it sown a little bit more,not the song

thank you for listening!! and thanks for the feedback. it's very much appreciated. after giving it repeat listens, i do need to work on the vocal range of the melody. i'll be doing that as i revise.

[Jazza]

Originally posted by dep
thank you for listening!! and thanks for the feedback. it's very much appreciated. after giving it repeat listens, i do need to work on the vocal range of the melody. i'll be doing that as i revise.

Practice makes perfect

[dep]

just did this one...

http://www.pecknology.net/storage/dep-blackness.mp3

[Tweety]

Both sound really good. Only thing i would suggest working on is at the beginning of the second song i couldnt hear what you were singing but it got better after a few seconds.
Perhaps try a slightly higher pitch? Anyway well done, you have a great talent.

[Makoto]

Hate to say it again but recording levels are way to low (maybe partly due to the fact that these PC speakers I'm using at the mo are crap) because your vocal kills your drums and can hardly hear the snare drum when you hit a higher note. By the way have you added any flange to your snare drum??

A little technique I use is when I have finished a track and got it sounding the way I wan't I leave it as it is for a while then come back to it later and listen to it through a pair of headphones so you can hear all the little imperfections.

Just gonna be nosey hear and ask you what you used to sequence the track in? Nice track though and good vocals.