Grandparents

[Crystal Tipps]

Maybe this should be in Relationships, but hey ho..

How well do you get on with your grandparents? Are they a chore or a joy to visit? Do they play a big part in your life, or did they during your childhood?

My mum's parents live in the next town to us, have lived in the same house all my life (and my mum's)... We (me and my younger sister) used to stay over every weekend when we were little - used to be a big adverture to us! We still see them quite often - probably me more than anyone, cos I usually go to their house before and after I go to work. I've got my own key so I can let myself in when they aren't about, but I still feel guilty and cheeky for turning up without asking - tho they don't seem to mind at all! They think it's great I'm "comfortable to let myself in and make myself at home!"

My nana (and grandad - tho he died when I was 5) (dad's parents) used to live on the south coast when I was little - it was a 6-7 hour car journey down to see them so we only went once or twice a year. Then my nana moved up north to live nearer my aunty and uncle (dad's brother) which was only two and a half hours away from us, so we could easily go for the weekend, which we used to do quite often. Just recently she's moved nearer us (well, five minutes walk away to be exact!) and into "warden controlled flats" - and it's ace having her around! For the seven years she lived near my aunty and uncle, she hardly ever saw anyone else and didn't mix with people of her own age - now she lives in the flats, its like she's come alive again! (even she says so!) She's so much happier and she's got a better social life than I have! I'm going round to see her later - I often go food shopping with nana and mum during the week, but this will be the first time I've actually called round on my own to see her (I'm taking cake too! ). When I suggested it, she told me not to "put myself out" but seemed rather pleased when I said I wanted too!

Anyway... back to the question... How well do you get on with your grandparents?

[HunnyPot]

All my grandparents died before I was born. I got on really well with my last remaining grandparent, my dad's stepdad. I loved him so much. He died when I was nine. My halfbrother's nan (mum of his late dad, my stepdad) is really nice, I see her once or twice a year and I treasure every visit. But like her husband Bill, who I had limited time with, did a year before their youngest son, she'll die.

I've got on really well with all my elderly relatives. My brother's nan is my last one. She's 82.

Anyway, it's not exactly rare to not have any grandparents. I count myself lucky.

[jacaranda]

I only have one grand parent my dads mum

[HellsBells]

i never really knew my mum's dad because he died when i was really little, but i knew all of my other grandparents.
they are all unfortunately dead now, my granny even died while we were on a big family holiday and my mum flew back for her funeral. i felt quite selfish not going, but i suppose my parents probably thought i was a bit young to. i remember her laughing, the image i get in my head when i think of her is always her with a smiling face. the most vivid memory i have of her is when she kept poking us with her walking stick when went to the beach once (i know its silly but it makes me laugh)
anyway i got along well with my dad's dad but then he got alzheimers (sp?) and it was quite hard to visit him as he was in a home and he didn't even recognise me most of the time.

awww i miss my grandparents.

[kevlar85]

I never met my mum's dad - she only saw him twice in her life herself when she was three and twenty-three and by all accounts he was a truly horrible man. My mum's mum was basically a single parent and she was wonderful, she lived in Yorkshire and we'd only see her a few times a year but whenever we did she'd always have a table full of sweet stuff for us and every Christmas she'd come down here and we'd always get a sackful of stuff from her. The thing I regret is that I never truly appreciated her and that before she died (7 years ago this week) we had a big row because she asked me to bring in the washing and I didn't and I got in a massive huff and sulked in my room when she died of a heart attack - the good thing is that she had us with her when she died and wasn't on her own which she would have been had it happened a week or two later. As I've got older I've learnt more about her from my mum and she was a great woman - I just feel guilty we parted on bad terms and I wasn't as close to her as I should have been.

I've always been a lot closer to my dad's parents, mainly because I saw them a lot more growing up but they moved to the coast in 1992. My grandad is a great guy, for my early years I was a little intimidated by him because he's a big guy but then when I was about 12 I realised he's a gentle giant and he's really kind too. He's also inspired me a lot in my political views as he's very political! The thing I admire about him most is the way he loves my nan, he's really protective of her and cares about her so much, he's had his faults and they had rough patches in their marriage but he loves her so much and it shows - I want to be like that when I meet the right woman!

My nan is definitely the grandparent I've been closest too though, she's such a nice person and ditzy - she'll just talk to anyone in conversation, people on the street, checkout girls, you name it!

She's also very sweet - we have 1571 (like an answer machine when the phone's engaged) and she was trying to ring me but the line was engaged so she said to me when she got through "Oh this girl (the pre-recorded message) kept asking me if I wanted to leave a message and I told her no, it's ok I'll phone back later, she must have been sick of talking to me!" and she doesn't understand modern technology like mobiles and the net and when I explain it she'll just go "Oh, lovely" or "What will they think of next?".She's got a lot of morals I agree with as well such as being very against people being greedy. The thing that upsets me is her health isn't so good and her memory's going, if I ring her she'll tell me the same thing over and over and she gets upset when I have to go and it just upsets me.

But they've given me some of my happiest memories when I'd go down there for the summer and we'd go to the beach or the swimming pool with my cousins or we'd just all play in the fields near their bungalow. In fact writing all this has made me decide to go and ring them in a bit which'll be nice!

[ShyBoy]

my dads parents were dead before i was born. apparently though they were really nice and i look a lot my grandmother. wish i could meet her now

anyway my mum was brought up practically in poverty and her parents werent that great. her mum was forever saying how she was a mistake and my grandad was just just nasty to her, her mum and her sisters. at the end of the day mum doesnt see my grandad anymore (hes still alive just... hanging in on there alone?) and my grandma died of cancer 2 or 3 years ago.

So I don't really have any contact with any of my grandparents..

[*hellie*]

I never met either of my Grandad's. My Mum's Dad died when she was 15 and my Dad's Dad died when he was 18.

My Mum's Mum lived with us up until the day she died as she was involved in a car accident and paralysed from the waist down when my Mum was 18 and my Mum looked after her from then on. She died when I was 9 but she had always been like a second Mum to me seeing as she was always around from the very beginning of my life.

My Dad's Mum is still alive but lives, and always has lived in Somerset. She can't drive and hates public transport so she very rarely comes to Reading to see us and as the majority of my Dad's side of the family live in Somerset anyway we always go down there to see her and them. I'm not as close to her as I was my other Nan, I only get to see her about once a month for a day at a time. I'm going to Somerset to see her on Tuesday actually.

[Knee High Stripy Socks]

I never met my mums dad, he died when she was seven. Her mum is still alive and lives 2 miles away. We get on great, maybe because I was her first grandchild and I lived with her for 4 years anyway. We've always had a really special bond and we understand each other.

My dads parents are both dead, they were a lot older than him, when my dad was born his parents were 40+, so we were never really on the same level. They were strict Catholics, and I was conceived out of wedlock, so I think that put a strain on my mum and dad, but because they married 3 months before I was born it was all ok and happy dappy again.

(things REALLY went downhill on that side of the family then, one got divorced, one got pregnant and had a baby outside of marriage when she was 19, and then one uncle married a woman who already had two children from a previous marriage! so much for catholicism...)

[SuzyCreamcheese]

both my nanas are fab. My dads mum loves me the most as she used to look after me when i was tiny, and im the only grandchild that keeps in contact with her, and were really close, but we live hundreds of miles apart, but i try and phone her every couple of weeks, and go and see her when i go up to scotland once or twice a year.
My mums mum lives quite nearby, and i see her more often, but she has sooo many grandchildren shes spoilt for choice. Shes still lovely though, and we get on great.
Its not nice seeing them getting older and more and more doddery though. Its quite scary when I actually think about how old they actually are, how they might not be around for much longer.

[byny]

All mine are dead but when I was growing up I rarely saw them as we were living in a different country.

My Dads parents were very posh and seemed really old and stuffy. We were always told to be on our best behaviour when they were there but I remember a few times where I said things like 'just going for a shit' in front of them without thinking, then I'd sit on the loo and cringe thinking 'how the hell am I going to go back down there and look them in the face!'

My mums parents were not really involved in my life because my mum had issues with her mum, although she loved her dad and I always remember he was really sweet and did loads of magic tricks for us if we did visit. He was a prisoner of war for 4 years but never spoke about it.

Now I don't have any contact with my mums brother or any of my cousins - I don't even know their names.

[Tweety]

Mine have all died .
I remember them though .

[KinkyBoots]

Well I never got the chance to know my dads mum cos she died several years before my older brother was born. I wasnt really that close to both my granddads, and they both died within months of each other

I have one gran left which is my mums mum. I get on quite well with her and its nice to see her. It isnt a chore to be going to see her, because I like seeing her. Plus she's a bit batty Im just making the best of what I have.

[KinkyBoots]

Oh and my dads aunty is still alive, she's in her mid-80's, just like my gran and its just so lovely to see her but unfortunatly I dont get to see her that much. She's brilliant and I love ger to bits, just like my gran.

And she always has a tin full of home made buns when we do go round

tasty, tasty, very very tasty!

I get on with my mums parents. I only see them 3/4 times a year (if that)

My dad doesnt speak to his parents and i have only seen them twice in my life.

My dad doesnt know his real dad so i dont know them either.

[Mr_Wobble]

I only knew my grandparents on my Dad's side. They've both died over the past few years. First my Grandfather, then my Grandmother just about a year ago now.
I enjoyed seeing them, but a visit to them was always marred by my parents making my brother and I dress up smart and wearing hideously uncomfortable clothes. And I still can't forgive them for making us wear incredibly irritatingly itchy polo neck pullovers.
I do miss them though. I used to go to college just around the corner from where they lived, and used to drop in on them for a cup of tea and a sandwich a couple of times a week, and got to know them better, especially my Nan.
I've only met my other Grandfather once, for about ten minutes, when I was about eight or nine. Can't remember much about him now except he was tubby and bald.

Mr_Wobble