Worried about self harm

[Momofairy]

hey guys
i've been really depressed lately and im trying to stop cutting myself.i've been doing it for 2 years now and i know its time for me to stop.last time i s/h, i went really too deep and thats when i realized i had to stop. im addicted to the feeling though. can anybody help?

[**Helen**]

Hey momofairy,
Welcome to TheSite - you've come to the right place for support.

I've moved your post to make it's own topic as it's usually the best option rather than tagging a post to the end of someone else's thread - more people can see it to reply.

Making the decision to want to stop is a massive and brave one, so well done for that. You might find TheSite.org's article on steps to recovery helpful.

Otherwise stick around and get to know people here - there's lots of people who can identify with what you're going through.

[flower123]

heya,
tis really gud what helen recommended - i have used it and although i ain't stopped s/h'ing i know why i do it.
hope that you are ok and here if you need to talk

[purplestarfish]

Hiya and welcome

Great move on deciding to get help, its an awesome start Check out Helen's link, its got good tips on who you can talk to and what they can do for you.

Don't worry if you can't "stop" straight away. It may be more helpful to think about reducing your self-harm... or moving away from self-harm gradually rather than stopping.

Can you put into words the feeling you personally get from self-harming? Is it like a release, or does it numb everything else going on around you and allow you to focus.. or something else? By putting your finger on exactly what "that feeling" is, it may be easier to come up with coping techniques to replace your SH by finding something else that gives you a similar feeling.

For now though, look after yourself, try and get some support from anyone you can (be it friends / family / people on here) and have a think about the steps you can take from here.

All the best with everything, take care

[Momofairy]

hey
thanks for all the support
purplestarfish,to answer your question about putting words to my feelings while SH, i would say its a way to let all my frustration out and to allow myself to be angry or sad at other people without hurting them directly.
also, for me, the sight of my blood represents bad feelings so bleeding out makes everything ok again.
do you guys have stories that relate to mine?

[PreciousAndLoveIt]

I used to do it a while ago and for some reason i just stopped. There was no real reason for it but i just managed to reduce it down so much that i was only doing it once a week and i had managed to stop myself from bleeding. A couple of weeks ago i started again. It was even worse than before but i took a look at my arms and my scars and realised how disgusting they look.
Now i just try to think of other things and not let things get me down. It is easier said than done but it works if you have the discipline to do so.

Just take one step at a time. It is very difficult to get over things like this so don't worry too much if you relapse now and again. Focus on something else if you can.

Good luck x

[purplestarfish]

Originally Posted by Momofairy

hey
thanks for all the support
purplestarfish,to answer your question about putting words to my feelings while SH, i would say its a way to let all my frustration out and to allow myself to be angry or sad at other people without hurting them directly.
also, for me, the sight of my blood represents bad feelings so bleeding out makes everything ok again.
do you guys have stories that relate to mine?

Hi again Momofairy

Have you tried punching a pillow? I know it can sound a bit daft... but it can help you get your frustration out in another way. Something I used to use was exercise... I would go out for a run and just run for as long as possible. I'd then come back exhausted and either have a nice warm relaxing bath or have a cold shower if I still had thoughts about hurting myself.

Another thing... you said about the seeing blood aspect of it... Well maybe, going through the motions of self-harm but then not actually doing it.. and instead drawing on yourself with red pen might help. As in, do whatever you usually do before you self-harm.. I don't know if you do it in a specific place or whatever, and then instead of actually injuring yourself, draw on your body. This sounds even weirder, but it can work to kind of trick your mind into thinking you have self-harmed. Just make sure you wash the red pen off eventually so noone sees it

Take a look here for a biggg long list of other things to try.

[Martin_Bashir]

A technique sometimes used is to clutch an ice cube. It'll hurt like hell after a while, and give the same feeling of release, without the scars. It's an idea sometimes given to people who burn or cut.

It'll also help to interrupt some of the unwanted thought patterns or feelings in the same way through the pain of the ice, if that is what you want to achieve.

Ultimately though, as other posters have said, this is symptom - you need to deal with the cause.

Be safe, and I hope you feel better

[KiwiFruit]

or have a rubber band on your wrist- everytime you get an unwanted thought, pull this so it hits your skin and stops the bad idea

[It'sMEE]

Originally Posted by Momofairy

hey
thanks for all the support
purplestarfish,to answer your question about putting words to my feelings while SH, i would say its a way to let all my frustration out and to allow myself to be angry or sad at other people without hurting them directly.
also, for me, the sight of my blood represents bad feelings so bleeding out makes everything ok again.
do you guys have stories that relate to mine?

Heyy Momofairy

You could try drawing on your arm...especially with red ink, and then smudging it. That can look like blood/cuts (and better still you don't get asked awkward questions!!) Also, you could try distractions - listening to music/socialising with people...

I'm new (and hopeless with technology (so soz for any mistakes, not quite sure how things are done!), and I've been selfharming for about a year, but recently I cut my wrist (even though stuff's going so much better now), and although it wasn't serious, I got scared, and realised I have to stop. But I can't! I know people want me to, and some friends have tried (and failed!) to make me promise to stop - the only way to stop is to stop for yourself.

Sorry for the rather long post...but it's good to talk to people who know how you feel, and it's made me feel better writing a bit about things

xxx

[Alexandraahh]

you could always use the buterfly project, you draw a butterfly on the place where you self harm and then everytime you want to s/h just imagine that if you dont the butterfly will get one step closer to escaping. if you do end up cutting though then wash the butterfly off , it failed to escape. that one method that i know worked for my friend X]

Alii x

[Momofairy]

hey alexandraah
thanks for the suggestion of the butterfly project. i tried it out yesterday and it seems to be working. i didnt s/h yesterday so thank you very much for that idea

[lynne]

Hi Momofairy, well done for asking for support. 1st step is the hardest
I haven't self harmed but do work with young people that do. some of these alternatives are great. one was to use ice as it gives a pain feeling, if it is the sight of the blood release you need then red food colouring could help with this.
I have a questionnaire on the 0rg.boards as I am looking at support for young people within schools and what teachers etc need to be clued up on, maybe you could have look and help me with this

[Momofairy]

hey Lynne
sure i would be glad to help for the questionnaire. what do i need to do?

also, im a bit worried about my math test thas worth 30% of our grade tomorrow because if i dont get the grade, im gonna fail my class. im really stressed out about that because its something that could make me want to cut. any fast tips to make sure i dont loose control and star cutting?

[lynne]

Helen has posted me a link on thesite.org but
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZBWZPBR
should take you there.
Hopefully you did OK in your exam.
maybe try to relax the night before, make sure you have done enough revision so you don't have to cram at the last minute. can you take any spare paper in so you can scribble on that to support your coping strategies.