We Want To Get Pregnant

[girlwithscissors]

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[StrubbleS]

jesus christ, just don't get pregnant by him.

[Lexi99]

Aside from everything i could say about you wanting to get pregnant at 15, and i'm sure everyone else will say it for me... but a 23 year old wanting to have a baby with a child? A 15 year old? How sick do you have to be?

[AThiefAWhoreAndALiar]

you may think you'd be able to stay in school while raising a baby, but who'd be looking after your child while you finished your education?

You and your boyfriend dont even live in the same country at the moment, how do you know you've be able to stand each others company basically 24/7 while also bringing up and small, screaming child. How will you be financially stable?

Having a baby at 19 is very different to having one at 15, and bringing up a child is very different to looking after someone elses.

[SuzyCreamcheese]

really really dont do it. Stay at school and finish your education

[girlwithscissors]

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[girlwithscissors]

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[SuzyCreamcheese]

it must be very flattering to have an older adult be interested in you when youre so young. It must feel like he sees something in you that others dont see, how mature you are etc.
The fact of the matter is that for your age, its a big big gap. He is an adult and you are barely adolescent. You are at different stages of life. This is why hes starting to think of settling down having babies etc, when you really shouldnt be thinking of that sort of thing for quite a few years yet, and he shouldnt even be putting those sort of ideas into your head.
its a wonderfully romantic idea to have a baby with someone youre really into, but unfortunatly the reality is very different. Its a long distance relationship for a start. Youve got a huge age gap. Youre legally underage. You havent finished your education and it would be a real shame to give up on that since you say youre quite smart.
Having children is really really hard. Take it from me. I have 3 and im more than twice your age. Its not a decision that you can make, and then if you dont like it you can change your mind. Thats it for life.
Having a baby at 15 or 16 is an insane idea. Thats not what your youth should be all about.

[Lexi99]

Originally Posted by girlwithscissors

he's not sick, and i'm insulted hat you would say so. does it not enter your mind that he might actually love me? because he does, and saying that is just mean. and i am not a child. i would be 16 when he comes to visit me which is old eough to legally ge married and start a family, so that fact is definitely not what i'm worried about.

I didnt mean to insult either of you and imply that he's some twisted paedophile. Just because the law says you can get married and have a family at 16 (which by the way, legally, you are still a child), and that your body has been ready since about 12/13, does that mean you should be throwing away your education, oppurtunities for life experiences, being free and independent?

Maybe try to look at this outside of yourself. Imagine your best friend, 15 years old, in love with a 23 year old from Ireland, who maybe barely ever sees him (I dont know, im guessing), who wants to start a family with him. Imagine you did have a baby and when she gets to 15 she wants to do the exact same thing? What would you say to them?

[AThiefAWhoreAndALiar]

Originally Posted by girlwithscissors

okay thank you for answering, i hear what you're saying but it's hard not to think that we could make it work, which i know we could.

of course from your point of view it seems like its going to work and be amazing and life will be perfect, but the problem is, even fully grown, fully emotionally mature adults cant always make it work, and not to be patronising, but at 15/16 theres still a lot of hormones flying about you, doing all sorts of crazy things

[SuzyCreamcheese]

people do it. They do make it work if they have to.

There is a big difference between managing to make it work, and getting through the day ok, to actually having a good life and enjoying your days.
Its the difference between a decent life and a miserable existence.

having someones baby will not make them stay with you. it will not make you more important to him in the long term.
If he loves you, then he will wait. You NEED to wait.

Its cute to talk about the future and what it might bring. Thats ONE thing. But please dont rush it all forward before its necessary.

[girlwithscissors]

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[Teagan]

Originally Posted by girlwithscissors

But please don't think he's pressuring me, he's always said it's my decision.

At 23, he ought to be mature enough to be trying to talk you OUT of the idea!

Sorry, hun, but this is a BAD idea.

[girlwithscissors]

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[girlwithscissors]

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