Is it shallow to be attracted to attractiveness, and look down on others?

[Jomery]

How much (or little) does it matter to you, both for potential new friends and relationships, if you deem the other person not as 'attractive' as you? If you are slim and gorgeous, would you befriend someone fat and ugly if they're a nice person? If you're a middle class graduate would you have no problems hanging out with a working class bricklayer with no A-Levels? Or does 'like attract like' only?

I am asking because last time I was here I got murdered for being 'shallow' for a few things I said and it really got to me, thinking that maybe I'm in the wrong looking down on people I deem less attractive - if someone's ugly or a 'chav' I would not want to associate with them. At the exclusive nightclubs I go to, if someone's not deemed attractive enough they will be rudely turned away at the door - the guestlist company I use says "We don’t buy databases, mass flyer or pay models to party with us, instead we hand pick those we deem of a Veneer standard" - by that they're referring to looks and class. I like this as the club will be filled with beautiful people, which I find attractive.

You thought I was really shallow for saying it matters what your girlfriend looks like, this can really boost/lower your reputation and respect. So recently I've been quite attentive about the topic but noticed that everyone does this - people's conversations are non-stop like "Omg have you seen Phil's new gf, she's so fit, well done him", "Did you see the whale Barry pulled last night, he could do so much better", "Ooh she's dating a City banker", "Dude you really like your pretty exotic birds don't you" etc etc.

Would appreciate if responses remain on topic and not a platform to insult me as per usual.x

[Infinite Part Deux]

Originally Posted by Jomery

maybe I'm in the wrong looking down on people I deem less attractive

Maybe?!



Oh and you've got a bit of a nerve after your showing on here, wouldn't you say?

[1983]

Attractiveness is subjective.

I've been out with guys who I don't particularly think are 'gorgeous' that I wouldn't have gave a second look in a club - I'll be honest. However, when I resulted in being their girlfriend it's purely because the way they carried themselves to me and their personality which made me see past just how 'plain' they are and want to be with them.

Personally, anyone I've been with it's been because of their personality and how it complimented us as a couple. If they looked gorgeous - well it's an added bonus.

Personally Jomery from your previous posts/threads the lifestyle you live although it's very opulent and glamourous it reminds me very much of the novel American Psycho. (With less fantasies of gore et all)

Everyone is out for themselves, not forming relationships with substance and everyone around you is as vapid and lacking real personality. It all boils down to greed, unecessary greed. You're not really grateful for the small things and that's what makes you really unattractive to the boards. You point blank refuse to go and live a simpler life per se probably because you feel as though ludicrous expectations are wanted from you and you are so reliant on this ridiculous validation.

I think your self destructive button's always halfway pushed down, and you are going to lead an incredibly boring life. Sure you'll have money, but I don't think there'll be anything lasting socially from your success.

[Jomery]

Originally Posted by 1983

Personally Jomery from your previous posts/threads the lifestyle you live although it's very opulent and glamourous it reminds me very much of the novel American Psycho. (With less fantasies of gore et all)

Heh, my personal mindset is very very similar to Patrick Bateman's. And similarly no peers have any idea of the truth behind the mask/facade.

[1983]

Originally Posted by Jomery

Heh, my personal mindset is very very similar to Patrick Bateman's. And similarly no peers have any idea of the truth behind the mask/facade.

I actually feel sorry for you that you admitted that because you are SO similar to him. You have these ridiculous requirements and standards of life for some crazy reason. People on the internet are unable to work this out for you but they can tell you that the life you have doesn't appear to be fulfilling no matter how much you spend on the frills.

You need sorting, put your money to good use and get a good shrink. You are an intelligent bloke, you just have very little common sense socially.

[Jomery]

Originally Posted by 1983

I actually feel sorry for you that you admitted that because you are SO similar to him. You have these ridiculous requirements and standards of life for some benign reason. People on the internet are unable to work this out for you but they can tell you that the life you have doesn't appear to be fulfilling no matter how much you spend on the frills.

You need sorting, put your money to good use and get a good shrink. You are an intelligent bloke, you just have very little common sense socially.

I don't feel sorry for myself..the Patrick Bateman qualities in me overall make my life better - my ruthless ambition has meant I'll never have problems paying the bills and will always be in good physical health (personal trainer etc), my lack of compassion/sympathy means I don't feel upset or angry at other's misforutune. I'll never see a shrink because I'd never want to discuss my problems face to face (hiding behind a computer screen is fine though). And overall I don't think it's serious enough for that as I'm living life OK, in the grand scheme of things when you consider everyone has their own issues, insecurities, personality defects etc I think there's a lot worse than me.

[KennyBoi]

So you don't want to associate with people who are working class, not educated to A-level standard and not good looking enough to get into one of these "exclusive clubs" that you mentioned.
Based on these comments I'd be willing to bet a large amout of money that you would not want to associate the primary demographic of thesite.org users.
So why the fuck do our opinions matter to you?

[1983]

Originally Posted by Jomery

I don't feel sorry for myself..the Patrick Bateman qualities in me overall make my life better - my ruthless ambition has meant I'll never have problems paying the bills and will always be in good physical health (personal trainer etc), my lack of compassion/sympathy means I don't feel upset or angry at other's misforutune. I'll never see a shrink because I'd never want to discuss my problems face to face (hiding behind a computer screen is fine though). And overall I don't think it's serious enough for that as I'm living life OK, in the grand scheme of things when you consider everyone has their own issues, insecurities, personality defects etc I think there's a lot worse than me.

I know you don't feel sorry for yourself. I feel sorry for you. Everything you wrote there worries me for you in the 'grand scheme' of things but ultimately you are born without money and you'll go without money. I'm not denying your income isn't fortunate but it's already eating away at you if you feel the need to come away onto the internet to vent about everything.

I think you're lonely but just don't want to admit it because a 'high flyer' like yourself will be put in a vulnerable position and because socially you've not let yourself into that scenario the thought of the 'unknown' scares you.

You admit you have peers but can you honestly name 2 people at the most outside your immediate family who would jump infront of a bullet to save your life? Hugely hypothetical, but you see where I'm coming from.

I don't think you do - given what you're saying - because I don't think you've let anyone close enough in, and THAT regardless of your personal trainer, Stepford Wives/Patrick Bateman lifestyle is what makes me - someone who has only 2p to her name - feel sorry for you.

[stargalaxy]

Believe me, you are doing yourselves no favours at all by raking up memories of past threads. The occasional well-placed insult is part of life at TheSite.org discussion boards, most of which are merited.

Meantime, I have little problem with people's appearance. I don't happen to be anything special looks-wise, but that's never been an issue. I'd befriend just about anyone regardless of appearance. However, if you're looking for someone who you'd like to be more than a friend, attractiveness certainly comes into it.

[Harmless]

Originally Posted by Jomery

If you're a middle class graduate would you have no problems hanging out with a working class bricklayer with no A-Levels? Or does 'like attract like' only?

I would like to talk about pubs if i may

The great thing about pubs is that it can bring up all sorts of topics so sooner or later both the middle class graduate and the working class bricklayer can find some common ground, now this may not last long enough to build up a lasting friendship, although it may just enable each other to see the other in a new light.

Every man should be an equal in the pub and not look down on one another, for the outcome remains the same whatever class you fall in. You get shitfaced hard enough and you will end up in that gutter!

[Jomery]

Originally Posted by Harmless

I would like to talk about pubs if i may

The great thing about pubs is that it can bring up all sorts of topics so sooner or later both the middle class graduate and the working class bricklayer can find some common ground, now this may not last long enough to build up a lasting friendship, although it may just enable each other to see the other in a new light.

Every man should be an equal in the pub and not look down on one another, for the outcome remains the same whatever class you fall in. You get shitfaced hard enough and you will end up in that gutter!

Nice. Yeah you're right pubs totally break down class barriers and there's middle ground. Though I frequently see a lot of casual racism in pubs, they're not that welcoming to everyone. How many of you would happily associate with a teetotal Muslim with a big beard who prays 5 times a day, or a Sikh guy with a big turban and Indian accent, if they were nice/friendly?

[squeal]

Originally Posted by Jomery

Nice. Yeah you're right pubs totally break down class barriers and there's middle ground. Though I frequently see a lot of casual racism in pubs, they're not that welcoming to everyone. How many of you would happily associate with a teetotal Muslim with a big beard who prays 5 times a day, or a Sikh guy with a big turban and Indian accent, if they were nice/friendly?

If they were nice and friendly why not? If they were total wankers who needed showing where the door is then obviously not. I don't see your point.

[Bri-namite]

And here we go again with another 12 page thread going round in circles and lots of use of the smiley because you won't listen.

But on topic, I do think that there are quite a few people out there with a similar mindset to you - the only difference is that you're open about it while others do it in a snide, snobbish way and don't give anyone who they don't consider to be their equal the time of day. It's to do with ego a lot of the time, if you're told all the time that you're gorgeous and amazing then at some point it's going to go to your head and you're going to end up like that Hilton thing. Or it could go the other way, you might get no compliments or friendliness at all and end up bitter and blaming everybody else for being not up to scratch.

In answer to your question, I'd never exclude somebody for the sole reason that they weren't stereotypically attractive. Most people are friendly with people they have things in common with - my closest friends are people who like a drink and a dance at the weekend when I've got money, aged between 17 and 25 and who get me and my sense of humour. I'd never ignore anybody or not give them the time of day, but there's certain groups of people I've just got nothing in common with so they aren't in my social circle e.g somebody really quiet who doesn't like loud bars/clubs, or a fat builder called Barry who lives with his Mum and wolf whistles at the first sign of boobs in the street.

Have a think about what you're doing with yourself, Jomery.

[Jomery]

Originally Posted by squeal

If they were nice and friendly why not? If they were total wankers who needed showing where the door is then obviously not. I don't see your point.

My point, just like the first post, is just being curious as to whether people only associate with 'their own kind', or are happy to associate with people from entirely different backgrounds, characteristics of which you may consider worse (or better) than your own. For example my social group is entirely multicultural, but all middle-class from Oxbridge or London. I'm sure some white working class people would be apprehensive about associating with a Pakistani, based on appearance.

[stargalaxy]

Originally Posted by Jomery

I'm sure some white working class people would be apprehensive about associating with a Pakistani, based on appearance.

I think there's some truth in this. Perhaps the white, working-class person may believe they have nothing in common with a Pakistani, or perhaps there are other factors for this.