Grrr stupid guy twisting things!!

[xlittlexstarx]

Bleh.

I'm going out to celebrate my birthday tomorrow night and a few weeks ago I posted a blog mentioning it and saying that anyone who wants to come is welcome. A guy, let's call him 'Jim', replied saying that he would like to come and that was fine and everything. But now, Jim's friend 'Frank' is mad because I 'invited' his best friend and not him. I know Jim because I was briefly seeing Frank a long time ago but things ended a bit awkwardly between us, but we still socialise with the same group of friends and I became quite good friends with Jim. So Frank thinks I specifically invited Jim and not him, when it was really an open inviation aimed at everyone!

Frank is a spoilt brat to be honest, and if he doesn't get his own way he'll sulk. After he confronted me about supposedly inviting Jim and not him, I explained that it was an open invitation and he was welcome to come, yet he still sulked and refused to join us. Bearing in mind this is a 22 year old man we are talking about, not a 12 year old boy. Jim says Frank still has feelings for me and that's why he's acting so childish, but I'm a bit fed up of it to be honest! It's my birthday and I want to go out and have fun and not worry about spoilt Frank wanting everything his own way.

What can I do? I'd like him to be there because when he's not acting like this he's a lovely guy, but how can I stop him twisting everything to make it seem like I'm in the wrong? He makes me sound like I'm a horrible person who has deliberately gone behind his back and asked Jim to come out but specifically not asked him, which is not how it was at all, but no amount of explaining will make him understand!!

I'm sorry, that was quite long. I'm not really sure what I want advice on here. I just needed to rant because he's made me so upset and angry

[**helen**]

Hi there,
How frustrating and upsetting for you! It sounds like he really wants your attention, but actually it sounds like you're right - he's acting like a child - and like a child, if you pander to him then you may well be allowing him to think that the way he is acting is acceptable.

I reckon you probably have two options here:

1. You leave him be, let him decide whether or not to come based on the fact that you have already explained that it was an open invite and you weren't excluding him.

2. You contact him - maybe via email/text (if it's easier) to say you'd really like him to be there and you hope there's no hard feelings. That way you've contacted him to try and make him feel better about things, but you aren't begging him.

Whatever happens, remember you haven't done anything wrong and make sure you enjoy your night out!

You may find some useful tips here: when mates go bad

Take care

[StrubbleS]

yea, just say "Jim messaged me asking if he can come, because it was an open invitation posted on a blog, you could just have done the same, or just come anyway."

"but... *sulksulksulk*"

"get bent you crybaby..."

end of story. Solves the problem quick

[xlittlexstarx]

Originally Posted by StrubbleS

yea, just say "Jim messaged me asking if he can come, because it was an open invitation posted on a blog, you could just have done the same, or just come anyway."

"but... *sulksulksulk*"

"get bent you crybaby..."

end of story. Solves the problem quick

Hahaha, that made me giggle!

Thank you both for the advice, luckily he stopped sulking and turned up anyway and we exchanged a few words and then all was fine.