Best friends

[Ashley2]

Well iv known this girl for about 3 years but we never really spoke until about 8 months ago when, after one day when we spent a lot of time together, we instantly clicked. within a week we could call each other best friends, we were perfect for a few months or so, so close that people would mistake us for a couple. and we were in fact like a couple, spending weekends with just each other, sharing beds hugging/talking for hours on end; general couply stuff. and after a few months i realised i had feelings for her but i carried on as a best friend until a few months later when i realised i had strong feelings for her. and eventually i told her. we had always discussed whether we would make a good couple but we always said we shouldn't go out in case we lost our friendship if we broke up. and when i told her, the same reasoning applied, even tho (as i later found out) she did have feelings for me when i first told her i loved her. now after 2 hard and very depressing months (so depressing i have lost a stone and in fact tried cutting my wrists once, not with intentions of suicide but just as a release) in which i have thought only about her, on valentines day! my best friend since i was young asked her out and she said yes. what can i do? i cant show any anger, or sadness as i dont want to ruin them because they both mean a lot to me. any suggestions? i want to get over her but if she still has feelings for me i dont want to give up hope. 3 best friends in a love triangle what are the chances

[Harmless]

Yeah bit of a rough situation your in mate! I'm the last person that should be given advice but hey, I'll say my 2cents anyway you don't have to listen!

Your mate is with the girl you love/like, yet you believe she likes you? (more than your friend?) in which case logic should kick in and make her end things with your mate while they are still fresh and go out with you!! Sadly with life logic doesn't work like that!!

You could pull your friend aside and tell him the score (about you and her etc and ask him as a mate to end things with her)

Or you could talk to her direct, which will most likely mess up the relationship you have with your friend!

There is the option of doing nothing and hope that it ends soon and then you'll be free to make a move, but I think this isn't a great option and you'd regret leaving it to fate!!

I'd talk to your friend and try make him see how much you care for this girl! What have you got to lose? Either way you have to stop harming/beating yourself up over it mate.

[Ashley2]

Originally Posted by Harmless

You could pull your friend aside and tell him the score (about you and her etc and ask him as a mate to end things with her)

thanks for the advice but I have actually told him that i like her, but tbf as he said to me he can't help his feelings either. i just feel like hes not acting much like a best friend considering he knew i liked her beforehand.

[Namaste]

Do you mind me asking... Are you a man or a woman?

Am confused because the name Ashley can be both.

[g_angel]

I'd say a boy - unless the girl he is after is bi.

[Kermit]

That's a shite situation to be in, I really wouldn't blame you if you did get really angry and upset about it all. You have the sense to realise that it isn't your mate's fault, its just one of those things, but it does still hurt.

I don't think you should ask either of them to end it, but talk to both of them and just ask them to not be too coupley around you, out of tactness.

If their relationship is meant to fail it will fail, but if you try and force it you'll just end up with nothing. You'll just have to grin and bear it. It's a trite old cliche but if you love her you should love her enough to let her go.

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by g_angel007

I'd say a boy - unless the girl he is after is bi.

She could well be. What I meant is that women are affectionate creatures, although if you have a tendancy to liking women as more than friends you tend to be more affectionate sometimes. See, if the relationship in question could have been same sex, maybe the young lady would have found it easier to be with a man instead of a woman for fear of coming out.

Or maybe she is in denial of her sexuality. I mean it's scary business liking women, having those feelings... Especially if you've never slept with a woman.

[SuzyCreamcheese]

Id say male, as i cant think many female friends share beds and hugs etc etc. Thats just one of those things from half platonic, half romatic relationships do, which is how you can tell if they really are just platonic in the first place.

[Ashley2]

i am a boy lol