changing parenting strategies

[susanhollister]

Over a cup of coffee, my beloved mom started discussing about effective parenting. She said that in order for a child to become a responsible, obedient, and disciplined adult, it may be necessary to not spare him with the rod. As for me, I don't want to do that to my Christian. I believe that kids nowadays can become more open to discussion. They can easily absorb your point, if you can just keep the communication lines open. To stress my point, I've even talked to my mom the pointers I got from my readings. But then, it also occured to me the question: Is there really a need to change parenting strategies?

[StrubbleS]

Originally Posted by susanhollister

Over a cup of coffee, my beloved mom started discussing about effective parenting. She said that in order for a child to become a responsible, obedient, and disciplined adult, it may be necessary to not spare him with the rod. As for me, I don't want to do that to my Christian. I believe that kids nowadays can become more open to discussion. They can easily absorb your point, if you can just keep the communication lines open. To stress my point, I've even talked to my mom the pointers I got from my readings. But then, it also occured to me the question: Is there really a need to change parenting strategies?

You cannot throw all parents in a pot, since different parents do different jobs in raising their children, but as it seems more and more get slack and children have a bad development. I am not talking about beatings with a rod, god no, but maybe don't give them SOSO much privileges like going out for long.

My sister is 12 and wanted to overdo the curfew up to half past 9 yesterday (with just leaving a note and not talking to mother), but my mother had to leave the house to look after her since she wasn't at home at 10pm. She got grounded, but it will come as always, my mom can't stay strong and she will be going out tomorrow, if not today.

She is hardly learning anything, only occupied with her looks, fake tan, fake fingernails, dyed hair (they look like straw already). In such a young age it's difficult, because you are very easily formed and shaped and this might definitely backfire when looking what runs around on our public schools.

I'd be a awful parent so I decided not to have kids for now, until I have a stroke of genius how to make it right.

[The Pendari Champion]

I agree with StrubbleS ,
From what I've read, the rod need not necessarily be a beating. It could be to:

O deprive a child of pocket money
O to not buy any more computer games
O to not buy any sweets.
The list is endless.

The idea is to be firm and consistent. If doing something bad results in a punishment of some kind, then the parent needs to stick to it. Whether the child cries or throws a tantrum. Remember these are children, as nice and soft as it sounds to want to 'keep communication lines open' and how 'open they are to descusion' they cannot reason like adults. Your mum has had experiance of raising children, so its no use making her sound like a crackpot who did it all wrong. Her techniques just need to be modified a little to go along with your values of not smacking your child.

Then at the opposite end of the spectrum, the parent needs to spend time with the child, go for walks, play together and have fun. Parenting takes a lot of effort. No website is going to fix things with a list of '10 things to turn around a troubled child'.

[otter]

tbh i think kids do need discipline from parents - if they don't get it then they will probably end up with behavioural problems. some kids you cannot just "talk to" but beating somone with a "rod" is not an appropriate parenting stratergy at all, in the UK at least somehting that heavy handed would be illegal. a parent cannot be too light handed but neither can a parent go around beating thier child. you've got to find some sort of comprimise that works for both of you: parent/child.